–Everyone who disagrees with you is either crazy or an idiot.
–Popular entertainment retroactively causes all of the problems that it depicts.
–Corporate entrepreneurs are well compensated because they are big gamblers, er, risk-takers.
–The best way to create more income opportunities is to stop spending money.
–The persistence of ice and snow disproves the theory of global warming.
–The persistence of poverty disproves the theory of capitalism.
–Racism no longer exists, therefore anyone who accuses someone else of racism is himself a racist which proves the existence of racism, therefore no one is racist.
–You are a racist if you disagree with this statement.
–THE CAPS LOCK REVOLUTION WILL NOT BE IGNORED!!!
–@Twitter #izawesome #willforeverchangehow @we #doeverythinginourtinylittlelives #dontjudgemeuntilyouvewalkedamileinmyshoes #blahblah #endcharacterlimit
–Wait . . . is this number eleven?
–You’re only alive if people read everything single thing you post . . . . . . . . . . . .