The Dog Ate Our Plotline

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This March, prepare yourself for the debut of the most
ground-breaking comedy ever to shatter your
pre-conceived notions . . . .

Tonight, we present a three-minute preview of the sitcom
that everyone is talking about:

THE DOG ATE OUR PLOTLINE

A typical suburban living room.
Joseph, the patriarch of the Andersen family enters
through the front door.

JOSEPH. Honey! I’m home!
(Canned applause.)

Laura Andersen, Joseph’s wife enters from opposite.

LAURA. Well, you’ve certainly mastered that whole
door opening thing.
(Canned laughter.)

JOSEPH. You’re just jealous of my awesomeness.
(Canned laughter.)

LAURA. What am I? Chopped liver?
(Canned laughter.)

The two have drifted toward the center of the room and
are about to share a kiss when their teenage son,
Finn Andersen, enters the room.

FINN. No, you’re more like Chef Boy-ar-dee!
(Canned laughter.)

JOSEPH. What have I told you about comparing your
mother to cheap pasta, Finn?
(Canned laughter.)

FINN. Well, I’m sorry but my Hello Kitty shirt is in
the wash.
(Canned laughter.)

LAURA. Oh, Finn. You’re so on it.

Laura kisses Finn lovingly on the forehead.
(Canned awwwwww.)

The Andersen’s eight-year-old daughter, Lissa, enters
through the front door leading the family dog, a collie
named Daisy.

LISSA. Mom! Dad! Daisy tried to bite Mr. Cuthbert
on the leg again!
(Canned ohhhhhh.)

DAISY. Woof! Woof!
(Canned laughter.)

JOSPEH. I knew we should have gotten a cat. They
just urinate on the furniture.
(Canned laughter.)

LAURA. Dear! The sofa will hear you!
(Canned laughter.)

THE ANDERSEN’S SOFA. (Voice-over.) I coulda been a
power chair but nooooooooooooooooo!
(Canned laughter.)

FINN. Y’know, all this talk about animals is making me
majorly hungry.
(Canned applause.)

DAISY. Woof! Woof!
(Canned laughter.)

LAURA. It must be about dinnertime. Stomachs are
getting angry!
(Canned laughter.)

FINN’S ABDOMEN. (Voice-over) I could eat a horse.
Two horses tops!
(Canned laughter.)

LISSA’S ABDOMEN. (Voice-over) Jelly beans!
Marshmallows! Whatever princesses eat!
(Canned laughter.)

JOSEPH’S ABDOMEN. (Voice-over.) I wonder if bacon
will ever run for president?
(Canned laughter.)

LAURA’S ABDOMEN. (Voice-over.) Is it me or is Arnold
Schwarzenegger really creepy all of a sudden?
(Canned laughter.)

DAISY’S ABDOMEN. (Voice-over.) Arf! Arf!
(Canned laughter.)

THE ANDERSEN’S OVEN. (Voice-over.) These people
are innnnnn-sannnnnnnnnnne!
(Canned laughter.)

Fade out.

Yes, that’s right. Tune in this March for more
Andersen-packed comedy, coming to a channel
near you! *

Copyright 2014 by Michael Marsters.
All rights reserved.

* Or not.

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2 thoughts on “The Dog Ate Our Plotline

  1. Most sitcoms are not really funny; without the canned laughter no one would realize it was a sit com I suppose. But some are. (All in the family! Fraser! ) You got an uncanned smile from me. 🙂

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